Conflict with contemptuous communication (Stage 4) can trigger emotional flooding and reactivity. When one or both of the people become emotionally reactive (emotionally flooded), it is not possible to have a rational discussion.
Being with people who are grieving can be difficult because we really want to say and do the ‘right thing’ but are anxious about making a mistake. <strong>There are many ways to add to their pain and not many ways to relieve it.</strong>
I'm in Charge - Relationship Health
The sources of our stress are all around us. There are specific people who aren’t supportive and are actually negatively impacting your life. You know who they are. They are the people by whom you feel attacked when you share a concern or need. There are organizations you need that are difficult to work with. You know which ones they are. They don’t seem to understand your needs.
As humans it is in our nature to become angry. The way we handle our anger may depend on with whom we are interacting at the time. For example, I am the second child with one brother who was always older, smarter and bigger than I was. So, when I am with a first born brother who acts like my big brother, I am more reactive than if he were a second born. I tend to be defensive and reactive any time a person lectures me as if I were a little boy!
