As humans it is in our nature to become angry. The way we handle our anger may depend on with whom we are interacting at the time. For example, I am the second child with one brother who was always older, smarter and bigger than I was. So, when I am with a first born brother who acts like my big brother, I am more reactive than if he were a second born. I tend to be defensive and reactive any time a person lectures me as if I were a little boy!

The ratio of speaking in an encouraging versus discouraging way is a great indicator of family emotional health. If the ratio in your home is 5:1, that encourages you to promote healthy, functioning relationships for generations.

Being with people who are grieving can be difficult because we really want to say and do the ‘right thing’ but are anxious about making a mistake. <strong>There are many ways to add to their pain and not many ways to relieve it.</strong>

Conflict with contemptuous communication (Stage 4) can trigger emotional flooding and reactivity. When one or both of the people become emotionally reactive (emotionally flooded), it is not possible to have a rational discussion.